What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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