wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
