would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wish there were birth control emojis
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
