covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
