Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
