I think i peed on brittanys purse
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
