is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
