fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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