How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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