K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
