I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
