They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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