i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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