her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
