Will you blow on my dice?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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