so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He passed out mid-signature
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
