textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
