We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
