Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
farters have to be the big spoon...
operation harelip BJ is a go
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
