kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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