This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
