Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
