i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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