So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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