I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
