ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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