im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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