How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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