i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
