Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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