we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
