I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
