How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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