covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
third nipple confirmed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
