She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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