Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
