Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
