I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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