I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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