all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
