It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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