I wanna passion pit in your ass
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
