hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize