Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we dont do blackfin have a good night :)

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  (248): we dont do blackfin have a good night :) http://tfl.nu/42ei
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (758)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2416) Bad night (708)
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  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5948) Bad night (1161)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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  (907): I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer. http://tfl.nu/7gfq
  Replies (13) Good night (3938) Bad night (1128)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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  (319): We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world. http://tfl.nu/rh6u
  Replies (12) Good night (2927) Bad night (1700)
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  (209): View more from California

  What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?

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  (209): What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons? http://tfl.nu/8u4p
  Replies (20) Good night (3379) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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  (703): I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues http://tfl.nu/075m
  Replies (7) Good night (2185) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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  (914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9
  Replies (3) Good night (3354) Bad night (1019)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

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  (765): He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26. http://tfl.nu/98vv
  Replies (22) Good night (2362) Bad night (1136)
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  (631): View more from New York

  If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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  (631): If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person http://tfl.nu/73za
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (911)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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  (256): Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night http://tfl.nu/my14
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.

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  (306): I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus (1-306): you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now. http://tfl.nu/txg4
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag

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  (318): He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag http://tfl.nu/afmg
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.

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  (718): Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again. http://tfl.nu/lmop
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (520)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches

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  (978): Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches http://tfl.nu/kfbr
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (209)

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