do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
