Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You up for the gym tonight after work?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chris Brown style, or less felonious?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haha, all felonious.

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  (248) You up for the gym tonight after work? (734): I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog. (248): Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today. (734): Chris Brown style, or less felonious? (248): Haha, all felonious. http://tfl.nu/kj7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1611) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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  (401): Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out. http://tfl.nu/h447
  Replies (10) Good night (4836) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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  (630): just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol. http://tfl.nu/7wr8
  Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (3611)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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  (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd
  Replies (21) Good night (8586) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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  (570): i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network. http://tfl.nu/mmjy
  Replies (45) Good night (2787) Bad night (4752)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!

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  (901): Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train! http://tfl.nu/ural
  Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.

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  (317): How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that. http://tfl.nu/g1sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1370) Bad night (2935)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

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  (973): That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy http://tfl.nu/xazq
  Replies (18) Good night (8752) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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  (972): Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday? http://tfl.nu/8ic0
  Replies (3) Good night (2158) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.

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  (303): im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now. http://tfl.nu/s8i3
  Replies (27) Good night (651) Bad night (5842)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.

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  (803): Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation. http://tfl.nu/hr81
  Replies (2) Good night (1529) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?

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  (302): Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech? http://tfl.nu/c3aa
  Replies (23) Good night (1140) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer

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  (419): I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer http://tfl.nu/ezfg
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.

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  (818): I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. http://tfl.nu/z1vu
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (227)

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