Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.

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  (541): Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system. http://tfl.nu/mobk
  Replies (13) Good night (1132) Bad night (555)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  i said paris hilton

  (770): View more from Georgia

  thats even worse

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  (770): cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton (1-770): i said paris hilton (770): thats even worse http://tfl.nu/l6ke
  Replies (8) Good night (785) Bad night (2126)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

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  (714): I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy. http://tfl.nu/mwni
  Replies (11) Good night (1299) Bad night (3365)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (1933) Bad night (1125)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

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  (269): i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently http://tfl.nu/x6zf
  Replies (17) Good night (5093) Bad night (699)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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  (714): I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom. http://tfl.nu/8p10
  Replies (19) Good night (3819) Bad night (1540)
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  (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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  (818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8
  Replies (9) Good night (2454) Bad night (744)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.

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  (908): My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this. http://tfl.nu/dlh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2392) Bad night (764)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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  (614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn
  Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (875)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.

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  (720): I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/gexm
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (1399)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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  (229): You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name http://tfl.nu/wjcx
  Replies (2) Good night (1592) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  omg i wish you could see the front of my car.

  (909): View more from California

  There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.

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  (909): omg i wish you could see the front of my car. (909): There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood. http://tfl.nu/64tw
  Replies (7) Good night (949) Bad night (275)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner

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  (516): I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner http://tfl.nu/acki
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (193)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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  (613): I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this. (647): Hey, I'm your guy http://tfl.nu/p6u8
  Replies (2) Good night (1035) Bad night (287)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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  (205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (404)

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