Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

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  (424): Excuse me do you have gonnorhea? http://tfl.nu/vw5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (1763)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I smell stomach acid.

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  (304): I smell stomach acid. http://tfl.nu/n8wy
  Replies (13) Good night (864) Bad night (2941)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13867) Bad night (1045)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny

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  (516): you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny http://tfl.nu/9x6z
  Replies (9) Good night (680) Bad night (3051)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around

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  (407): he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around http://tfl.nu/8mq7
  Replies (21) Good night (3681) Bad night (751)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6671) Bad night (1120)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5436) Bad night (1246)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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  (416): You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill.. http://tfl.nu/sqyp
  Replies (5) Good night (4278) Bad night (857)
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  (707): View more from California

  At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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  (707): At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve. http://tfl.nu/oxx2
  Replies (3) Good night (3513) Bad night (875)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (945)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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  (865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7
  Replies (10) Good night (1187) Bad night (2265)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.

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  (219): Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking. http://tfl.nu/w53z
  Replies (11) Good night (542) Bad night (1720)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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  (+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (562)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.

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  (515): I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor. http://tfl.nu/c5bv
  Replies (12) Good night (1717) Bad night (455)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.

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  (630): Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll. http://tfl.nu/j17p
  Replies (4) Good night (544) Bad night (1352)

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