who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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