I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
