yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize