why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
