She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize