You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
