i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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