i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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