am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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