so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
