Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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