Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
