He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I smell like Dick and happiness
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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