i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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