Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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