Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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