I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
