just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
