why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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