Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
