Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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