I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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